And here i say, farewell
by Piccolosdragon
Summary: One Shot::rated for language:: Long between visits from fear of pain, pain that can only be broken when you face the cause and put it to rest...after that the hardest part can be walking away.


**Here I say farewell…**

**A/N: I do not own dragonball z or its characters, they are the sole creation and property of Akira Toriyama...**

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It looked the same as any other sunny afternoon in the mountains, the sun streaked through the spaces amongst the leafy trees, and glistened across the shallow streams surface, across the tips on the tall seedy grass stems as I walked through them. 

I shined my shoes this morning but walking through the sandy loose dirt grubbed them up good, the hem of my pants off this new business suit is also lightly tarnished, though I didn't mind all that much, where I as going I had nothing else on my mind less a replaceable grey suit with tacky stitching around the belt.

I only had a few hours before Mandy would come looking for me though I keep telling her she doesn't need to worry, im only going to visit an old friend id tell her. She called me mad for calling a person who has past over a friend and that I should go see my living friends and family more often, but she is my only real family now, and the friend all live elsewhere too far away for me to reach out on the spare of the moment.

I stop when one of the landmarks I had been searching for appeared amongst the treetops, still some distance off but at least I knew I was headed in the right direction. Back to Mandy, my wife of twenty years and seven months whom I love dearly and completely, since the day I met her after my last tournament which I lost, I couldn't keep her out of my mind, I remember the first time we met she walked up to me and asked…

"Would you like a towel Mr. Son, you worked up a huge sweat in there" I looked up into her doe eyes and stood there like a stunned mullet, the sweat from my semi final fight was pouring down my chest and soaking into my tank top but she didn't seem to mind, she must have been used to big sweaty men hanging around being a fighters hand at all the tournaments.

I took that towel and smiled like a fifteen year old meeting a playmate, that ear length bob of hers was perfect, not a hair out of place. I was thirty-seven at the time and she looked about twenty-two to twenty-five and boy did I feel like a dirty old man, thankfully she ended up being thirty-two and unmarried. We married a year later at the same church Trunks and Pan did, come to think of it I haven't seen them in almost seventeen years, but I heard from his Bra about six years back that they have two kids around that age and live out east somewhere, I miss him terribly but haven't the courage to pick up the phone, not after that argument all those years ago that I was stupid enough to end harshly, if I only knew how much it would cost me now.

As I walked on toward my destination I took note of the old broken down fencing laying across the ground, so old grass had grown through the wood and around it. I remembered that fence now, when it was still standing and new to the world, painted red with concrete foundations to keep the farmers black angus cattle securely on his land, I shake my head and a smirk crosses my dry lips because I just realised how long its been since I had last been here and how long its been since I had come to visit him. As I passed the fence by I look over my shoulder to it once more, even from this angel its mould infested surface made my feel old and guilty for now coming sooner.

I turned away with new strength in my stride and wanted to run the rest of the way but I knew it would slow me down, it was at least another 2 miles until I would reach it and stamina was a thing of the past. I come to a slight hill and cross over it, digging my heels into the ground as I walk down the other end with my hands in my pockets, im sure the guilty sight of me matched the guilt I was feeling inside.

The youngest of my three daughters Tania so wanted to come along but I told her it wasn't the best time, I needed room to think and breath and not necessarily from them, more from what my life is now when earth is at peace, its quiet with no need for me and my old friends to meet up again and prepare for a threat, to train and encourage each other that we can win, we can beat the evil that we all internally struggle with. It's a strange thing it is to not be needed, you feel naked with a cold breeze rushing down your back and into your chest where it strangely burns, something you wish you could repair with a pill or exercise routine but it stays there for a long time until you except it as your new meaning in life.

I hadn't realised it but all the pondering and feeling sorry for myself led me to the spot finally, and a dozen or so feet to my left beneath a teenaged tree lay the markers, my body turns to face them and I inhale an emotional breath into my tense lungs, that burning feeling is coming back again.

I walk casually to them and stop a foots distance away, I look up to the eight foot monument of cold stone and read the cursive inscription as I had many times before.

_"Our love and regards to the greatest hero the world has ever known, his strength and purity was what made him unique amongst all the rest, a beacon of hope for humanity.  
Loving husband, father, grandfather and friend, we prey and hope we will meet you again in the world that knows no fear and no hate, where we can truly celebrate our lives without the fear of death and pain.  
We will love you forever Goku Son"_

This happens every time, tears brim in my eyes and I wipe them away crudely with my sleeve.

"It's been along time dad, long time since I came to see you and im sorry. I'm a dad too now with three girl and the oldest one looks like you a lot, but Tania is like you, she never sees the hate and only the potential, I envy her so much".

I look down beneath the inscription I just read and see the old signatures are still there, I kneel down gently and brush away the grass that had around them, I see Krillin, Gohan, Chichi, Bulma, Trunks, Bra, Yumcha, Tien, Chouzu, Pan, Dende, #18, Marron, Constance, Videl and even Vegeta's scratched signatures still visibly, then further down I see my own that has almost faded, Goten.

My hand covers my mouth as I squeeze my eyes shut painfully, they all still come and see him, im the only bastard who doesn't and I feel so ashamed, I couldn't make the time to come and see my own father.

But even the newer crude signatures are old, you see Vegeta and Krillin's monuments are right beside this one, made of the same crude stone only much smaller and less imposing than my fathers, they are up there with him now probably enjoying a good spar with Mom and Bulma watching, yes those two strong willed women who held it together for so long are also gone.

I did come here to see him but I also came to leave a gift for my staying away for so long, I was unable to face him from the pain of loosing him, I envy Gohan for knowing him longer than I and sometimes wish Dende's dragon could grant life to those who had been brought back before, but then again how selfish would we be if we kept bringing back a person who has managed to enter paradise.

I dip into the long strap leather bag hanging over my right shoulder, there wasn't much inside, just some food for the trip along with the round glass object I find in the corner, pulling it out it is the shiny ball that I see my reflection in. Gohan gave it to me our fathers four star ball as a fiftieth birthday present but I just cant hold on to it and for years its been sitting in the basement amongst old newspapers, a reminder of what I lost, I reach over with it in my hand and lay it on a small flat piece of the stone and then stare at it for a few moments.

"There dad its back with you now, where it belongs."

Its all the words I can say, there aren't words to say how much pain I live with everyday, im tired of it, the regret and bitter sweet nostalgia.

Looking over to the two smaller monuments nearby I walk over and read them aloud..

_"The earths strongest human and most beloved friend, never letting another down and always there to step in, loving husband to #18 and father to daughters Marron and Constance, our brave friend Krillin, the fearless"_

Its so true about Krillin, he may have been afraid to take risks but never afraid to take action when another needed him, he died shortly after dad left and I always thought it was because of the sadness he felt.

Now I look to Vegeta's and carved into the stone is his inscription, I chuckle before even reading it because just the thought of that arrogant bastard is a warm one.

_"Ruler in a strange land, prince to a lost kingdom, proud and just he would stand when others fell and change when others quivered, the last of the great warriors our father Prince Vegeta of the saiyans, love Trunks and Bra."_

I remember when Trunks wrote that with Bra, he had died days earlier from heart failure, they found him in the gravity chamber laying face down near the exit, Bulma found him and when I found out he died I felt a sadness I couldn't explain for a long time, then I realised that it was because my ancestors had all but gone, no pure blooded saiyan would ever again walk the universe.

Adjusting the thick strap over my shoulder I turn away, I couldn't say it to him but this would be the last time I come to see him and that from now on my children may come instead, I honestly came to say a final goodbye and now I was walking away from him never to see the monument again.

Thankyou for coming son

I hear, it was in my own head but I could have sworn it was his voice saying it, not mine. It sounded like I was under water and it was being screamed, triggering Tinnitus in my ears as I walk back by Mount Paozo for the last time, here I say farewell.

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_ Thankyou for reading_

**A/N: just a quick one shot that came to me today, hope you liked it.**


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